Wake Up Call
by LittleWolfStar
Summary: Sirius tries to wake up Harry, just insanity


ALRIGHT THIS IS MY THIRD THING POSTED BUT FIRST DISCLAIMER WRITTEN NOT MINE, MOST JOKES HERE ARE THOUGH, JUST STARTED POSTING BUT COME CHECK ME OUT ANYWAYS PLEASE! ENJOY THE MADNESS OF MY BRAIN!

"Haaaaaaaarry."

"Go away."

"…Haaaaaaaarry."

"Go away!"

"…Haaaaaaaarry."

"I mean it, Padfoot."

"…Haaaaaaaarry. - OUCH! HARRY!"

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"Wakey, wakey, Harry!"

"Have you ever heard the term 'let sleeping dogs lie'?"

"I'm the dog here, not you"

"Then what am I?

"You're my little Pronglet!"

"Let your sleeping 'little Pronglet' lie"

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"RISE AND SHINE, HAR-BEAR!"

"Har-Bear?"

"That was your cute nickname when you were a baby!"

"I'm not a baby. I'm a teenager who wants his sleep"

"Denied! UP! UP! UP!"

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"WAKE UP HARRY!"

"Padfoot, it is too early for this"

"Nope! Just early enough!"

"You really hate me, don't you?"

"NO! I wuv you!"

"'Love' is not that difficult a word to say"

"Yes, but 'wuv' sounds cuter and gets on your nerves better"

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"COME ON HARRY, WE GOTTA BIG DAY AHEAD OF US!"

"Five more minutes"

"Come on, get up, Harry! The sun is shining, the birds are singing-"

"And they will still be doing so in five minutes"

"Nope, one time offer"

"Then I can half-sleep through this one, and you won't bother me about it _ever again_"

"Good logic; BUT FLAWED LOGIC!"

"One time offer means you don't have to tell me again!"

"Only if I knew what exactly one time offer meant! AND I DON'T! MWA HA HA!"

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"GOOD MORNING, O WONDERFUL GODSON OF MINE!"

"Is this still necessary?"

"Yep! So get up!"

"I refuse"

"Do we have to do this the hard way?"

"Depends, what is the hard way?"

"Pillow-related violence"

"And the easy way?"

"I serenade you to wakefulness with a song from my heart!"

"Pillow-related violence it is. Hit me with your best shot"

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"Oh, haaaaaarry."

"Uh, not again"

"Wakey wakey!"

"Leave me alone."

"Come on, Har-bear."

"I will not hesitate to hurt you."

"Get up"

"If you come any closer- aaaaaahhhhh!"

"GET UP, HARRY!"

"AHHH! PADFOOT! NO! BAD DOG! ARGH!"

"RUFF! WOOF! ARF ARF ARF!"

"AHHH! HELP ME! PADFOOT! OFF! GET OFF!"

"RUFF! RUFF!"

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"Wakey wakey, Harry."

"Can't we work something out?"

"I don't think we can. Get up"

"And if I don't?"

"You will receive another slobber attack, courtesy of Padfoot"

"I'M UP, I'M UP!"

"You sure?"

"YES! I'M UP, HAVE MERCY!"

"You sure you're sure?"

"Positive, I'm up. Have mercy on my face."

"Ok, because if you're not sure…"

"I'm sure, get out so I can get dressed."

"You sure you don't want me to get out for another reason?"

"What other reason would I have for me wanting you out of my room, other than not wanting you to see me in my boxers or less?"

"So you can go back to sleep."

"I'm not going back to sleep"

"You sure?"

"Positive."

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"GOOD MORNING SIRIUS!"

"WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?"

"Giving you a taste of your own medicine, o godfather of mine"

"WHAT! Wait, why can't I move?"

"Fred and George helped me chain you to your bed."

"What are you going to do to me?"

"Mwa ha ha."

"Is this a dog- oh yuck, oh, ugh, get off!"

"At one point in time, it was a chair, but yes, now it is a slobbery dog."

"Harry! Why? Don't you love me anymore? Oh. Yuck! Get off, you stupid mutt!"

"Oh I still love you; I'm just also loving my revenge."

"So you're (ugh, so gross!) Cheating on me with revenge?"

"Your mind works in strange ways, Padfoot."

"CAN YOU GET THIS SLOBBERY DOG OFF MY FACE!"

"No need to yell. And I wouldn't make commands so rudely. It's not exactly going to get you any brownie points."

"Can you _please_ get this dog off my face?"

"Hmm…"

"Please."

"Alright, fine."

"Ouch!"

"Pillow related violence, don't you just love it?"

"But you asked for me to hit you with a pillow! I wasn't asking!"

"I never asked; I just chose the lesser of two evils. Kind of like what I did here; Fred and George wanted me to tie you to the kitchen table, semiconscious and naked, right before an Order meeting, but I didn't think your punishment should be public… or involve nudity"

"Because you love me, and you're not going to hit me with that pillow again?"

"Oh, right. The pillow."

"Ouch! Harry!"

"And while I still love you, that's not why."

"Why, then? OUCH!"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because I'm chained to my bed, I have dog drool all over my face and in my nose and in my ears, and you're beating me with a pillow and I think I deserve some answers!"

"Jeez, Pads. No need to be all dramatic. I didn't make your punishment public or have it involve nudity, because I didn't think it was fair and…"

"And? OUCH!"

"And maybe I'm not too keen on the idea of you being naked, ok?"

"Heh heh. Strange child. OUCH! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"FOR LAUGHING AT ME!"

"OW! OUCH! HARRY! QUIT HITTING ME!"

"Hahahahahahahahahaaaa!"

"Hahahahahahahahahaaaa! Alright, alright, have you gotten your revenge yet?"

"Maybe."

"OUCH!"

"Ok, maybe now."

"You sure?"

"Maybe not"

"OW! HARRY!"

"Don't be such a baby, Sirius."

"I'm not!"

"Uh-huh. Sure."

"Heheheheh. I love you, Harry."

"I love you too, Sirius."

"Hug?"

"Sure… mm, you're really warm"

"Of course I'm warm; I've been lying in bed the whole time."

"…Alright, that's enough bonding for today."

"No such thing!"

"Um, ok."

"That came out really weird, didn't it?"

"Yeeeeeah, I'm gonna leave you to get dressed, see you at breakfast."

"Um, Harry? Harry, don't go! HARRY! I'M STILL CHAINED TO THE BED! HARRY! COME BACK KIDDO! HARRY? PRONGLET? AW, COME ON!"

THE END


End file.
